Failure IS an option.

I had a disappointment last week. A Masterclass on how to pass MCQ’s which I had been planning to run next weekend had such a poor response that I had to cancel it. Partly the reason was my fault – it’s important to take ownership of your mistakes. And partly it was down to an advert which was supposed to run on a critical date being forgotten by the publishers. Oh well, brush myself off, learn from the mistakes, and move forward to the next one in July (link).

It just goes to show that just like exams, running an event carries a risk of failure, and you have to accept that. Anything which is worthwhile carried a risk of failure – where, for example, would the sense of achievement be in walking along a wide, flat path on the floor (unless you were drunk)? Compare that to walking along a tightrope several metres in the air. What’s the difference between the easy path and the tightrope walk? It’s the skill and dedication required to do the latter, and the willingness to go ahead despite the possibility of falling off.

I had an exam coaching client recently, who told me “I have to pass this exam…I can’t afford to fail.” That’s quite a statement, and if it’s framed in a positive light, can be highly motivating.
However this kind of self-talk can also be quite negative, and actually lead the person towards failure rather than away from it. If this client is saying to himself “I can’t fail…failing would be a disaster…I’ve got to make sure I don’t fail…” he’s doing two things. Firstly he’s focusing his attention on the thing he wants to avoid, which according to some NLP practitioners (this isn’t something you can easily prove scientifically) makes it more likely his subconscious will find ways of achieving failure (This is rather like walking along a tightrope saying in your head: “Mustn’t fall off…. Mustn’t fall off”) And secondly, he may well be increasing his levels of stress unnecessarily to the point where the worry itself starts to impede his performance.
So what should you do about worries about failure?

Here are a few handy hints:
1. Accept that failure is a possibility (anything else is self-delusion!)
2. Perform a reality check on failure – what would actually happen if you failed the exam? For most people, a bit of embarrassment and annoyance, and the inconvenience of having to sit it again.
3. Tell yourself that you could cope with those consequences – not like them, but cope with them.
4. Now, focus on passing.